I don't know where to begin. It has been a wild few days. I think it has something to do with my husband being gone.....anyway, I would like to blame him. No just kidding, it has nothing to do with David being gone except that I realize how much I DO depend on that guy. My mother in law must be worried, she has called me to tell me that David misses me and then called again to tell me she thinks David should be here with me. She is a forever romantic, bless her little irish heart.
My dad has had a few complications and is now back in the hospital with dehydration, renal failure, and a possible abscess. He has lost nearly 20 pounds in the last 2 weeks and lost his strength as well. He has a good spirit so far but the rest of us are totally stressed.
I have been depressed, maybe mad, that no one wants to hire David. Do they know him and how good of a worker he is????? No, I know they don't, and I know God is saying wait, but I am not good at that waiting thing. I am getting down, trying to keep everyone up, does that make any sense, kind of hypocritical and lame!!! AND right when the going gets tough, the daily bread takes me to the scripture that I need. Matthew 6:33 says to seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Do I believe that? Yes...so why do I have to be reminded so many times. The author of that little article said this, " Make it practical: Always pray before planning, Always love people more than things, Do all things to please God. Those who lay up treasures in heaven are the RICHEST people on earth." AMEN!!! So, I will again lay my burdens at the feet of Jesus and let HIM take them on.
There is so much going on at church, Emily's wedding coming up, Ryan's prom, senior pic's, graduation, oh yea, this house is a mess too. I don't know how it will be accomplished but this pilgrim journey we call life is never dull and very exciting. I just think some times I could like dull and boring :) . So We will carry on and see what unfolds today.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
What do I have to do to come home
....Those were the words that I received as a text message on my phone early yesterday morning. Long story short, David met with Ryan for breakfast, had a good long talk and Ryan is moving back home today. Our hearts are singing. I am reminded again of how short the time is that we have with each other and how every second of life counts. So..I am challenging myself AGAIN to make every second count especially with those I love. Don't be afraid to remind me of that every now and again. Accountability is also right up there with important things I need to think more about.
Yesterday was David's birthday...51 years old. We have celebrated 31 of those years together. That is unbelievable. For his present this year I wanted him to fly to Watertown and be with his family. He misses them and his nephew is joining the Air Force next weekend, so David will be able to be at his going away party. I just dropped him off at the airport and he is on his way. We hate to be apart and I won't be able to wait until he gets back home. Of course, I have a ton of projects that I am thinking about accomplishing while he is gone. The #1 project getting Ryan back in here!!!!
We celebrated last night with brats, corn on the cob, mac n cheese, and banana cream pie, all food choices of David. We have a great time getting together, with all these babies in the family it is starting to get really loud. Oh well, the house is very quiet when they leave and then I wish they were back. :) Dad didn't come, but he was content to stay home, he was having lots of pain today. He is doing well, but surgery is taking it's toll on his strength and at his age we really have to encourage him to get up and get moving.
Well, I have been up since 4 am so a little nap will be needed if I get any projects done today. Have a great day. Thanks again for listening. Love ya all, Kim
Yesterday was David's birthday...51 years old. We have celebrated 31 of those years together. That is unbelievable. For his present this year I wanted him to fly to Watertown and be with his family. He misses them and his nephew is joining the Air Force next weekend, so David will be able to be at his going away party. I just dropped him off at the airport and he is on his way. We hate to be apart and I won't be able to wait until he gets back home. Of course, I have a ton of projects that I am thinking about accomplishing while he is gone. The #1 project getting Ryan back in here!!!!
We celebrated last night with brats, corn on the cob, mac n cheese, and banana cream pie, all food choices of David. We have a great time getting together, with all these babies in the family it is starting to get really loud. Oh well, the house is very quiet when they leave and then I wish they were back. :) Dad didn't come, but he was content to stay home, he was having lots of pain today. He is doing well, but surgery is taking it's toll on his strength and at his age we really have to encourage him to get up and get moving.
Well, I have been up since 4 am so a little nap will be needed if I get any projects done today. Have a great day. Thanks again for listening. Love ya all, Kim
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Stop the world, I want to get off.
Do you ever feel like that? The world is spinning so fast that everything gets blurry and you get dizzy from all the action. This week has felt just like that to me.
We ended last week with Justin going back to Afghanistan and Ryan moving out. It was a tough week, but I tried to reflect on the new life--Natalie, the most perfect sinner I ever did see. She is a cutie, have I mentioned that. But to be honest, she is gonna have to get a lot louder if she wants to be noticed around here. All 5 grandaughters were here this afternoon, and we literally put Natalie in her seat in the corner and kept forgetting about her. She just sleeps and sleeps, looks very angelic. I was privileged to play "salon" with the big girls, my nails are at this moment a silver color and my toe nails are hot pink. I went to church tonight like that and played the piano---I didn't have time to take it off. ANyway, then I set up a little tea party for the big girls with angel food cake and grape juice. Oh my, they made a mess, but they had a lot of fun. Addison and Nora actually took naps at the same time, praise God--so Jenni was able to slip off to Walmart alone while Natalie slept in the corner, Nora and Addison were in playpens, and Adrianna and Alaina were playing salon with Nana. I must mention here that Joe and Nicole were on their way to Chicago after church today for a Cubs game, only to have it rained out and they returned very disappointed. Hey, they got to eat at the Cheesecake factory, don't feel too sorry for them. Papa was sleeping in his chair, but did come to my rescue at just the right time.
So back to this week. We started at the hospital with Dad having surgery. He has done very well, has a new ileostomy that is working well. We are waiting on the pathology report from the cancer they found in his colon again. But we are hopeful and have much peace that God is in control and knows what is best. Mom had some real problems this week, couldn't remember where Dad was or what he was having done. It broke my heart and totally frazzled her. She came out of it later and slipped back again. We don't know what we are going to do. I worked and took care of Dad all week, so by Thursday, I was done in. We had planned Emily's wedding shower along time ago, so went ahead with that on Saturday. Thankfully, Nicole did most of the work. I cleaned my bathroom and let everyone come on in. We had great food and great fun with girls we haven't seen for quite a while. Poor Em, Sydney is sick and very crabby. That made the day a little hard for Emily. Em was tired and about worn out. I totally collapsed after the shower--for 45 minutes, until it was time to go to David's referee banquet. He loves those guys and about an hour into it I had loved them all I could muster. Ha Ha.
Anyway, life is spinning wildly. Am I having fun???? FOr the most part, yes, but I miss Ryan something terrible. He says he is alright, but I need to see him and it has been a week since I saw his face. David will turn 51 this week and then fly to Watertown on Thursday to spend some time with his folks. He misses them alot and needs to spend some time with his brother.
I need to learn to relax, wouldn't you say so. My joy and my strength is not gone, however, because I realized again today that my joy and strength do not come from this world but from God and he is constant in my life. THe sermon today was Proverbs 3:5,6, yes, that I would trust in Him with ALL my heart and not lean on my own understanding, BUT in ALL my ways acknowledge HIM and he will direct my paths. What a great verse, one that is worth memorizing and repeating daily. Love you all, your smiles and prayers have sustained me, thanks for being there for me, you will never know what that means. Love, Kim
We ended last week with Justin going back to Afghanistan and Ryan moving out. It was a tough week, but I tried to reflect on the new life--Natalie, the most perfect sinner I ever did see. She is a cutie, have I mentioned that. But to be honest, she is gonna have to get a lot louder if she wants to be noticed around here. All 5 grandaughters were here this afternoon, and we literally put Natalie in her seat in the corner and kept forgetting about her. She just sleeps and sleeps, looks very angelic. I was privileged to play "salon" with the big girls, my nails are at this moment a silver color and my toe nails are hot pink. I went to church tonight like that and played the piano---I didn't have time to take it off. ANyway, then I set up a little tea party for the big girls with angel food cake and grape juice. Oh my, they made a mess, but they had a lot of fun. Addison and Nora actually took naps at the same time, praise God--so Jenni was able to slip off to Walmart alone while Natalie slept in the corner, Nora and Addison were in playpens, and Adrianna and Alaina were playing salon with Nana. I must mention here that Joe and Nicole were on their way to Chicago after church today for a Cubs game, only to have it rained out and they returned very disappointed. Hey, they got to eat at the Cheesecake factory, don't feel too sorry for them. Papa was sleeping in his chair, but did come to my rescue at just the right time.
So back to this week. We started at the hospital with Dad having surgery. He has done very well, has a new ileostomy that is working well. We are waiting on the pathology report from the cancer they found in his colon again. But we are hopeful and have much peace that God is in control and knows what is best. Mom had some real problems this week, couldn't remember where Dad was or what he was having done. It broke my heart and totally frazzled her. She came out of it later and slipped back again. We don't know what we are going to do. I worked and took care of Dad all week, so by Thursday, I was done in. We had planned Emily's wedding shower along time ago, so went ahead with that on Saturday. Thankfully, Nicole did most of the work. I cleaned my bathroom and let everyone come on in. We had great food and great fun with girls we haven't seen for quite a while. Poor Em, Sydney is sick and very crabby. That made the day a little hard for Emily. Em was tired and about worn out. I totally collapsed after the shower--for 45 minutes, until it was time to go to David's referee banquet. He loves those guys and about an hour into it I had loved them all I could muster. Ha Ha.
Anyway, life is spinning wildly. Am I having fun???? FOr the most part, yes, but I miss Ryan something terrible. He says he is alright, but I need to see him and it has been a week since I saw his face. David will turn 51 this week and then fly to Watertown on Thursday to spend some time with his folks. He misses them alot and needs to spend some time with his brother.
I need to learn to relax, wouldn't you say so. My joy and my strength is not gone, however, because I realized again today that my joy and strength do not come from this world but from God and he is constant in my life. THe sermon today was Proverbs 3:5,6, yes, that I would trust in Him with ALL my heart and not lean on my own understanding, BUT in ALL my ways acknowledge HIM and he will direct my paths. What a great verse, one that is worth memorizing and repeating daily. Love you all, your smiles and prayers have sustained me, thanks for being there for me, you will never know what that means. Love, Kim
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Birth and Death
Natalie Lynette, my 5th grandaughter was born Tuesday night. Jenni, my middle daughter, did that delivery with no drugs. (I don't know if she will try that again), but she did an awesome job and couldn't have done it without her husband Justin, who flew from Afghanistan to be with her----a BIG THANK YOU to the Army for that one!! I stood back in amazement as the progression of that birth took place. What a miracle of life. Natalie gave a real good "holler" when she realized she was out in a bright lit and cold room. She has a good set of lungs and she wanted to eat right away. That's my girl!!! In fact, I was laughing when I looked at my pictures. I have pictures of both my daughters immediately after giving birth and they are eating a great big sandwich from McDonalds or other fav restaurant. That birthin babies is real hard work and anybody that does it, sure enough deserves a break today from McDonald's!!! So everyone is well and Nora, the big sister, well, let's just say her world is about to change drastically. But, oh my, she loves her sissy, and can't give her enough kisses. We hope she learns to be a little more gentle tho. :) :)
This morning, as I was listening to wonderful praise music (thanks WBNH) and walking on the treadmill, I wondered which is more exciting to watch that miracle of life or on the other hand, watch the death of a saint. I have seen both. I realized I cried at both. Crying at the birth, because I can't believe the miracle I was privileged to see and proud of my daughters for just great work, and loving God for making it all possible. Crying at the death of a saint..for? I don't know, because I am going to miss that person...but I think more than that. Crying because this saint, this brother or sister that I know "in Christ" has lived a life that gave glory to God, and wants to be with Him more than wanting to be here. I had a patient this week, an older black man, who was so sick, just moaned and groaned as I moved him or even touched him. His speech was garbled, but I picked up on one word and it was Jesus. I leaned over with big tears in my eyes and said, "Is it ok if we talk to Jesus right now?" and he said a resounding yes. So I held that big black hand and praised the Lord for our lives and how He blesses, we asked the great Physician to heal, whether that healing be here or in heaven. That created a bond, that I will never forget, and today on my day off, I keep seeing that face and wondering how he is doing. He will be moved to a nursing home today while I am gone, but I will never forget that moment with him and how precious it is to be in the presence of the Lord with someone else who loves Him like I do.
On a completely different subject--David had a great interview yesterday and we are waiting for God's leading, of course, that means are they going to call? and what offer will they make?
Ryan should be on his way home from Gulf Shores and our reunion is not going to be an easy one. Oh, I love that boy, and I know this battle is not mine, but God's. So I gave it to Him this morning and as it says in 2 Chronicles 20:17 "You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions, stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you.....do not be afraid, do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow and the Lord will be with you." Now the giving to the Lord is easy, its the not taking back, and the standing firm that is hard.
What a great way to get these feelings off my chest. I have so enjoyed typing this out and I feel refreshed and very, very blessed to call Him my Saviour. Lots of Love, Kim
This morning, as I was listening to wonderful praise music (thanks WBNH) and walking on the treadmill, I wondered which is more exciting to watch that miracle of life or on the other hand, watch the death of a saint. I have seen both. I realized I cried at both. Crying at the birth, because I can't believe the miracle I was privileged to see and proud of my daughters for just great work, and loving God for making it all possible. Crying at the death of a saint..for? I don't know, because I am going to miss that person...but I think more than that. Crying because this saint, this brother or sister that I know "in Christ" has lived a life that gave glory to God, and wants to be with Him more than wanting to be here. I had a patient this week, an older black man, who was so sick, just moaned and groaned as I moved him or even touched him. His speech was garbled, but I picked up on one word and it was Jesus. I leaned over with big tears in my eyes and said, "Is it ok if we talk to Jesus right now?" and he said a resounding yes. So I held that big black hand and praised the Lord for our lives and how He blesses, we asked the great Physician to heal, whether that healing be here or in heaven. That created a bond, that I will never forget, and today on my day off, I keep seeing that face and wondering how he is doing. He will be moved to a nursing home today while I am gone, but I will never forget that moment with him and how precious it is to be in the presence of the Lord with someone else who loves Him like I do.
On a completely different subject--David had a great interview yesterday and we are waiting for God's leading, of course, that means are they going to call? and what offer will they make?
Ryan should be on his way home from Gulf Shores and our reunion is not going to be an easy one. Oh, I love that boy, and I know this battle is not mine, but God's. So I gave it to Him this morning and as it says in 2 Chronicles 20:17 "You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions, stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you.....do not be afraid, do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow and the Lord will be with you." Now the giving to the Lord is easy, its the not taking back, and the standing firm that is hard.
What a great way to get these feelings off my chest. I have so enjoyed typing this out and I feel refreshed and very, very blessed to call Him my Saviour. Lots of Love, Kim
Sunday, April 5, 2009
It got worse.
What did I say that last blog??? Something about wondering what was around the corner....yes, and the tornado blew thru. Worse than I expected. Although I don't feel like I can share it publicly, let's just say that my son is in need of some real prayer.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Joe's Crab Shack
We had supper tonight at Joe's Crab Shack with Nicole, Joe, Addison, Jenni, Nora, and Justin. Yes, Justin is home from Afghanistan for a few (14) short days. Wow, we had a great time. (We have great kids who have great husbands, who all made great kids!!) It did my heart good to see everyone together and happy. I really missed not having Ryan there, he had to work. Something has been missing in my relationship with Ryan this year. It is that tough year, where he is trying to be his own self and I am TRYING to let him go, pull him back, and then let him go again. It gets ugly. But I think I am finally letting go easier and more often.
Anyway, it's scary, because life seems good, really good right now. In the past when I have felt like that, a bump in the road comes up and throws us for a loop. David still has not found work, but amazingly enough we seem OK about that. I think David might be getting a little restless and needs to find some purpose, it doesn't have to be a purpose with a great big income attached to it (but we wouldn't turn that down:) ), no just some meaningful purpose that he can accomplish on a daily basis. He has alot of purpose, but when a man doesn't have a job, it is hard for him to feel like he is doing something worthwhile. I have tried to give him several worthwhile projects, but he is not biting at that bait right now. I truly do understand how he feels, he is vegging for awhile and that is OK with me. It is so great that he has been able to babysit some of our grandkids during this time, and do that special grandpa bonding. I had a great idea today that he should go and visit his family in New York for awhile. He misses them and I want him to be able to spend time with them now when he has a chance.
We are hopefully planning a St Louis trip for his 51st birthday April 22. That will be just what we need. We love to go away together, OK, even if it is to a Cardinals game.
We are anxiously waiting for Natalie Lynnette Collins to enter into this world. When it gets this close, I feel like I can hardly wait to hold her and see what she looks like. Our fifth grand daughter. My Dad is having surgery again on April 13th. I am excited about that too, because God has answered my prayers in a way I never expected. That Dr Bonello would decide to takedown his colostomy that we hate and give him a new one, is WAY more than I would have ever asked for. Isn't it just like God to give such a wonderful answer to prayer, AND an answer that I never, ever expected. Wow.
Anyway, as you can see, my heart is singing praises to my Saviour....for blessing my life. Would I be singing praises if I didn't feel blessed? I hope I can say yes, because I have learned that with the good, some bad may occur, but it is always thru the bad that I learn, grow, and learn more about who God is and what He can do. So I am waiting AGAIN, because I know something really special from God is just around the corner.
Anyway, it's scary, because life seems good, really good right now. In the past when I have felt like that, a bump in the road comes up and throws us for a loop. David still has not found work, but amazingly enough we seem OK about that. I think David might be getting a little restless and needs to find some purpose, it doesn't have to be a purpose with a great big income attached to it (but we wouldn't turn that down:) ), no just some meaningful purpose that he can accomplish on a daily basis. He has alot of purpose, but when a man doesn't have a job, it is hard for him to feel like he is doing something worthwhile. I have tried to give him several worthwhile projects, but he is not biting at that bait right now. I truly do understand how he feels, he is vegging for awhile and that is OK with me. It is so great that he has been able to babysit some of our grandkids during this time, and do that special grandpa bonding. I had a great idea today that he should go and visit his family in New York for awhile. He misses them and I want him to be able to spend time with them now when he has a chance.
We are hopefully planning a St Louis trip for his 51st birthday April 22. That will be just what we need. We love to go away together, OK, even if it is to a Cardinals game.
We are anxiously waiting for Natalie Lynnette Collins to enter into this world. When it gets this close, I feel like I can hardly wait to hold her and see what she looks like. Our fifth grand daughter. My Dad is having surgery again on April 13th. I am excited about that too, because God has answered my prayers in a way I never expected. That Dr Bonello would decide to takedown his colostomy that we hate and give him a new one, is WAY more than I would have ever asked for. Isn't it just like God to give such a wonderful answer to prayer, AND an answer that I never, ever expected. Wow.
Anyway, as you can see, my heart is singing praises to my Saviour....for blessing my life. Would I be singing praises if I didn't feel blessed? I hope I can say yes, because I have learned that with the good, some bad may occur, but it is always thru the bad that I learn, grow, and learn more about who God is and what He can do. So I am waiting AGAIN, because I know something really special from God is just around the corner.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)