Alot going on up there!

I was sitting by a girl at work today who was just talking away to herself, and I mentioned I hoped it was OK for me to listen in...Ha. She said sure and then mentioned there was alot going on in her head and several voices talking to each other. We laughed about that, but in reality there ARE alot of voices in our head, all battling for attention. Some good, some bad, and some downright evil. It made me thankful that there is one voice in my head louder than all the others--the Holy Spirit, convicting me, guiding me, and helping me determine right from wrong. It hasn't always been that way. But as I have gotten older, spiritually speaking, the voice of the Holy Spirit has gotten louder.

This week I know God is trying to give me a lesson. It all started with the Daily Bread one morning. David and I were reading it together and it was about Abraham taking Isaac up the mountain to sacrifice him. We can't believe that Abraham had that kind of faith, what Isaac must have been thinking, and visualizing that whole scene in our heads. So David and I asked each other if we could do something big if God asked us, for instance leave next week for a foreign country to be a missionary. I had to say no, at this point I couldn't do it. And so, if that is my true answer, I have a lot of work to do in my spiritual walk. Then that afternoon, the Chris Fabry show had Phil Visher's partial sermon from Founder's week. He is the guy who created Veggie Tales. IT was a fantastic sermon and I really want to get the tape. Anyway, he was talking about who else...Abraham and Isaac. Abraham's walk with God gave him a huge faith. He also said "You know what Noah was doing the first 500 years before he built the ark."He was walking with God the Bible says. Then my son challenged us this week with some things every parent doesn't want to hear. But it was challenging to my faith. Because if I had been walking with God like I should, Ryan might have seen God differently.

So I have again committed my walk to the Lord, asking for wisdom in every area of my life. Praying for Ryan to see a glimpse of Jesus everyday in our home and in my life. Praying that Ryan would see God for who He is. Enough of this superifcial walking, I need something deeper, way deeper. and all this time I have been waiting for someone else to hand that to me on a silver platter, the preacher for instance, when all along it's me that needs to do the work, work on the relationship that is more important than any other.

This has been a bunch of jumbling words. But really I only do this blog for me, so if you are reading this, sorry. I only started doing this to remember where I have been and where I need to go.

I watched the Gaither Homecoming hour one ni ght this week and it was all the old time hymns that I grew up with. I sat in the chair and cried, not just because the words meant SO much to me, the memories of sitting in the pews and loving my church family were fresh, but the theology in those words is so deep and meaningful, more than the songs we sing these days. I cried for the sadness I feel at where the "church" seems to be going and how my kids and grandkids will miss those hymns and not love them like I do.

Love Lifted Me, when nothing else could help, Love Lifted Me